How to Play Kings and Queens

This is a fortunetelling game, an old youth group tradition that didn't get passed down very well and that I only recently learned.

1. Decide whose fortune is going to be told.
2. Pick out the kings, the queens, or two of each (whatever the person is into) and put them face-up, side by side, on a flat surface. Hold the rest of the deck face-down in your hand.
3. Pick out four people, any four people.* It's funnier if they're actually in the room, but celebrities are also awesome for this. Each suit (clubs, spades, hearts, and diamonds) represents one person.
4. Ask a single question (e.g. Which one will give her/him/them/xir/kir/hir/etc. foot rubs? Which one will make the monthly CVS run? Which one will hog the TV for their favorite show every night?)
5. After this question, deal out four cards and place each one in front of the Kings and Queens.
6. Repeat steps #5 and #6. Continue this until there are four cards left in the deck, set aside.
7. Pick up each pile, one at a time, and announce how many there are of each suit in the pile.

CLUBS: represent how much they will beat the person (this actually leads to a lot of friendly BDSM jokes, ironically. I have no idea why it represents that, but I didn't invent the game)

HEARTS: represent how much they will love them.

SPADES: represent how good they will be in bed (or, as we like to euphemism 'cause we're a church group, how good they are at tennis)

DIAMONDS: represent how rich they will be.

The higher the value, the more of this the potential future soul mate will have.

*No, you do not have to be attracted to the person. Once, Christina had her fortune told, and she put me and Ellen Degeneres as two of her potential soul mates - and she's asexual.

I know I'm not explaining this very well, but it's easier to have an experienced player show you. Ah well, have fun anyway!