PSA

Something has been going on with the 'design' feature at this URL that Mod Frey and I haven't been able to fix. We can write posts, write and modify comments, and see how many page views each post has gotten, but we can't edit the blog description (which labels us both as lesbians, an identity that neither of us uses any longer) or check the stats to see how many views we've gotten each day or how many views have been coming in from various countries.

That's why I made a new URL. It's still on Blogger, and it's still the same blog with the same name. It's just going to be at a new location with a new URL. I designed it myself, and decorated with a black and purple border, gray header background, and white main background - all the colors of the asexual pride flag. We're going to have the 'About the Amoebas' page, and there will be a link to the masterlist of coming out resources, as well as a link to this URL for anyone who wants to see the posts written here, play Freerice, or check out that social justice movement I started by accident on Skittlr (speaking of, send us a link with any fics or fanart you've made for #gaybiblefanfictionslikeyas or #fuckyeahfeministmythologyfanfiction. Post them on this site, or put links and pictures on Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, deviantart, Fanfiction.net, Archive Of Our Own, and Skittlr under the hashtags. I don't use Twitter, deviantart, or Instagram, though, just so you know).

Anyway, here's the new URL. We hope you enjoy it.

Explaining Terminology, Part Two

TW: discussion of sex and romance

In my post explaining the difference between sex, gender, assigned sex, and gender expression, I also promised that I would talk about sexuality. Today I'm going to fulfill that promise.

In this post, we'll be covering libido, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, how it's possible to date and/or have sex (and enjoy those things) as an asexual or aromantic, and different sexual and romantic identities.

Libido and sexual attraction both have to do with hormones. The difference is that libido is simply one's body desiring sexual stimulation, whether through masturbating or partnered sex. Libido can be triggered by erotica, visual porn, fetishes, kinks...or actual people. When actual people trigger one's libido, inciting a desire to have partnered or group sex with said actual people, sexual attraction occurs.

In short, libido is your body going "Now!" whereas sexual attraction is your body going "This person!"

This doesn't mean that asexuals can't have and enjoy sex, however (though no one, asexual or otherwise, should ever be pressured into having sex). Asexuals have body parts that can be sexually stimulated, and many of us have libidos and enjoy masturbating...which doesn't give you permission to ask if we do, of course. That's none of your business.

Asexuals can love sex. Asexuals can get turned on, though not all of us do. Asexuals can be promiscuous. There are even asexual kinksters, and an entire sub-community of asexual fetishists (they're called AceFets). Some of these people are gray-ace, others aren't. They are often referred to as "sex positive", but a better term that's begun to crop up in the ace community is "sex favorable".

 I, personally, prefer this term - I don't consider myself sex favorable, but I am involved in the sex positive feminist movement. I don't have to want sex for myself in order to respect other people's bodily autonomy and join in the fight for their sexual liberation.

Moving on to romance.

I don't really understand romance as well as most people, for obvious reasons. But I've seen friends interact with their romantic partners, and I've asked questions.

When you get a crush, it's...you get giddy, and think about them all the time, and just the thought of them makes you smile or laugh. You want to be around them all the time, you might want to kiss them or cuddle them and go on dates with them. There's apparently also dizziness and butterflies in your stomach, and you occasionally blurt out ridiculous things. Weird, right?

A squish, or platonic crush, to me, is just...you also feel giddy...but it's more like pure happiness and warmth about being in the company of a friend. They make you feel happy and good about yourself, and you want to do the same for them. You just want to be emotionally intimate with them and get closer to them, in a non-romantic way (called a QP relationship). But that's just my experience with my own squishes, and feel free to talk about yours in the comments below.

An aro (or someone on the aromantic spectrum) who doesn't experience squishes is called aplatonic, or "apl" (pronounced like apple). A lot of people argue that aplatonic people are actually just straight cis people who want to invade queer spaces. This isn't true - aplatonic identity is exclusive to the aromantic community (though not all aros are aplatonic), which is already queer by virtue of not being heteroromantic. One can not be aplatonic if they are not also aro. Therefore, all apl people are queer (if they wish to label themselves as such).

Aros can date, though not all of us do. For example, truly romantic dating makes me uncomfortable, though I do get occasional crushes. For aros who do date, though, dating is about their partner's romantic attraction to them, their platonic attraction to their partner, and the sexual attraction between them both.

Sexual and romantic orientation don't always match up.

 The most accurate term for me, strictly speaking, would probably be gray-biromantic and gray-pansexual...I don't particularly care what gender the people I find physically attractive are, but I have never, as far as I know, gotten a crush on a boy (only on girls and nonbinary people, and even those crushes don't exactly happen frequently). I assume that I could get a crush on a boy, but I don't really know and therefore can't truly say that gender doesn't matter to me in romance, the way it doesn't in my sexuality. I often identify as either gray-a (a term I use for both my sexual and romantic orientation) or bi, depending on the situation, but gray-pansexual and gray-biromantic is more accurate in some ways.

And there's a name for people like me, whose sexual and romantic orientations don't match up: varioriented.

It's possible to be homoromantic and asexual. It's possible to be heteroromantic and bisexual. It's possible to be aromantic and heterosexual, panromantic and bisexual, biromantic and homosexual, polyromantic and demisexual, aromantic and gray-asexual, akoiromantic and pansexual, etc. All of those are varioriented identities.

It's also possible to be aromantic and asexual, homoromantic and homosexual, biromantic and bisexual, panromantic and pansexual, heteroromantic and heterosexual, demiromantic and demisexual, etc. These are all perioriented identities.

So in a world where identity can be so diverse, how do we explain the difference between sexual and romantic attraction?

The best way I've found to explain that is that romantic attraction is whom you would be willing to date without sex. Sexual attraction is whom you want to bang. Are we clear on this? Good.

If your identity is heteroromantic and heterosexual, if you are allosexual and alloromantic (meaning you're not on the ace/aro spectrum), and especially if you are cisgender, you benefit from what's called straight privilege. That means, basically, that because of your straightness, you are seen as a more important, more natural and special, and more morally sound person than if you had not been straight. You are able to get married in every country, you will never face violence or abuse for your sexuality, your autonomy and right to seek sexual and romantic fulfillment on your own terms are never questioned, you will never face housing or employment discrimination for being straight, and the people who matter most to you have probably been correctly assuming your sexuality for your entire life.

Straight people, you have a ton of unearned benefits just because you experience attraction in the ways that strangers have arbitrarily decided you should, and you benefit from that at the expense of LGBQA people. That doesn't make you a bad person, erase the ways in which you are oppressed, or mean your life is perfect, but recognizing your privilege and taking steps to dismantle it is something that you probably need to work on - especially if you are also cis.

Here are some ways in which straight people are privileged (yes, I got lazy while looking for privilege lists, dammit).

Okay, let's move on to identity prefixes for sexual and romantic orientations.

Homo- Attraction to one's own gender, and only (or predominantly, in the case of homoflexible people) their same gender. Commonly called gay or lesbian. A woman who is exclusively attracted to people she reads as women is a lesbian. A man who is exclusively attracted to people he reads as men is gay.

Bi- Attraction to at least two genders; attraction to genders similar and different from one's own.

Pan- Attraction to all genders, or attraction regardless of gender.

Poly- Attraction to at least three genders.

Demi- Attraction only after an intense emotional bond, whether platonic or romantic, has occurred

A- lack of attraction.

Hetero- Attraction to the "opposite gender" only or predominantly (in the case of heteroflexible people). A heterosexual man is only attracted to people he reads as women, and a heterosexual woman is only attracted to people she reads as men.

Woma/gyne- Attraction to women.

Ma/andro- Attraction to men.

Gray- Attraction that is in the "gray area" between  allosexual and asexual, or alloromantic and aromantic; attraction that occurs very rarely.

Akoi/Lith- Attraction, but without any intrinsic and instinctive desire to form a relationship; attraction that fades once it is reciprocated

Femme- Attraction based on feminine gender expression. Not the same as attraction to women, because not all women are feminine and not every feminine person is a woman.

Masc- Attraction based on masculine gender expression. Not the same as attraction to men, because not all men are masculine and not everyone who is masculine is a man.

Allo- Attraction that is not on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrums

Apothi- Repulsion (I.e. sex repulsion, romance repulsion)

Mono - Attraction to only one gender.

Fray- Attraction that fades once an intimate emotional bond is formed (also called 'reverse demi')

Queer- Not a prefix, but an umbrella term for all LGBTQIA identities; a slur that some LGBTQIA people have chosen to reclaim

Please Get off the Counter -Mod Frey

(caps lock warning)=(CL)

If you are at an establishment in which the cashier is also the bagger of your purchases than please follow this short list of courtesy's 

-DON'T

--lean over the counter to look at the screen, it is an invasion of the cashiers personal space it is also against store policy pretty much everywhere.

--let your children run behind the register, the cashier may be too nervous to tell you to collect your child but trust me the cashier does not want (CL)ANYONE BUT THEMSELF(CL) behind the register at any time.

--put your child on the counter, While a few cashiers do understand that your child is not in fact a big dirty mess maker some still wont allow the little one up there, at all, just dont do it their not supposed to be there the counter is for merchandise only

-- try to bag your own items or take your bags from the cashiers side of the register, if there is a counter between you and the bag than don't touch the bag.

--tell the cashier about your day, their busy and more often than not just don't care

DO

--place your items on the counter in order from heaviest to lightest so that the cashier may bag them in a manner most convenient to the both of you

--wait for the cashier before sliding credit/debit/gift cards

--wait for the cashier to hand you your items (CL)AND(CL) reciept before leaving, especially if you've paid with a card often times if the reciept hasn't printed than your payment has not gone through correctly and if you leave without paying than the cashier (CL)WILL(CL) get in trouble and possibly be fired.

Explaining Terminology

Okay, the title's boring. You know it's boring. I know it's boring. We all know the title is just really boring. But the title is less important than the actual content of this post.

Now, to me, the difference between AGAB, sex, gender, gender expression, sexual orientation, and romantic orientation is obvious (especially because I'm queer myself, and started picking it all up after I began getting involved in queer communities and feminism). But not until after a conversation with my cousin Abby a few weeks ago did it really hit me that even many queers are struggling to understand it.

So I'm going to explain.

AGAB stands for assigned gender at birth. When you were born, did the doctor or midwife or nurse look at you and say 'it's a girl'? Than you were assigned female at birth, or AFAB. If the doctor said 'it's a boy'? Than you were AMAB.

But your AGAB doesn't necessarily match your sex or your gender.

It doesn't always match your sex because intersex people exist. You know that I in LGBTQIA? That's what the I is for.

Much of our culture gets really, really uncomfortable when people don't fit into heteronormative boxes and has a bizarre, sickening fixation with genitalia - those things are the root of a lot of queerphobia, actually. So when a baby is born with ambiguous genitals, doctors and parents alike will flip a shit. 

I'm not intersex myself (probably) and will of course defer to intersex people on their own experiences, but here's what I've heard: when your biological sex isn't male or female, you are often told that your body is something shameful, freakish, and ugly. Other people's squeamish discomfort and petty wants are considered more important than your needs and autonomy. As a baby or small child, you might even be subjected to a surgery, one that you can't consent to and might grow up to wish had never happened, that mutilates your genitals so they look more 'normal' - sometimes at the cost of your sexual health.

And because dyadic people feel really uncomfortable when you don't fit into their silly boxes, you aren't assigned 'intersex' at birth - if it even is apparent at birth that you were intersex. You're assigned male or female. That's your AGAB.

Now that we've discussed sex and AGAB, let's talk gender.

Your gender is totally independent of both your sex and your AGAB. Your gender is a lot less physical and a lot more mental - though it CAN be based partly on physical factors. That's where sex dysphoria - or the lack thereof - comes from (as well as the way trans people are taught to see our bodies as gendered).

Your gender can be male, female, both, neither, neutral, in-between, nonexistant, or so complicated that you can't even figure it out! You can be a single person with multiple genders. Like mine, your gender can be fluid - you can be male on some days, female on others, in-between on others, and neither on the rest.

If you are AFAB and your gender is female and EXCLUSIVELY female, you are a cisgender, or cis, woman or girl. If you are AMAB and your gender is male and EXCLUSIVELY male, you are a cis man or boy. If those things don't describe you, you are transgender, or trans.

Cis women, you KNOW you're women. That knowledge wouldn't change for you, even if you spontaneously grew a penis. Inside, no matter what, you'd still be a woman. It's that way for trans women, too. The only difference is, they didn't spontaneously grow a penis. They've just always had one. Some of them want it gone. Some don't. Some don't really care. No matter what, they're still women.

 But unlike them, you have the privilege of always being seen as and treated as the gender you know you are. People just take your word for it when you say you're a woman. Trans women don't have that privilege.

And cis men, take what I just said about trans women and replace 'women' with 'men' and 'penis' with 'vagina' or 'boobs'. Unlike trans men, you have the privilege of always being seen and treated as a man, the gender you know you are. People just take your word for it when you say you're a man.

That's called cis privilege. It doesn't mean you're a bad person or that we hate you. But it's not fair that you have this privilege over trans people. You were born into a culture that oppresses trans people, even though that oppression can backfire on you, and were taught to go along with it. So we're - and by we I mean feminists and trans rights activists -  trying to make that stop. Makes sense?

Now, onto gender expression.

Think about the things your culture associates with men or women. I live in the United States, so my culture associates these things with women, girls, and femininity...

• Dresses
• Dolls
• Pink
• Lace
• Silk
• Skirts
• Flowers
• Being nurturing and gentle
• Being emotional
• High heels
• Pastel colors
• Satin
• Hair bows
• Dancing
• Long hair
• Makeup
• Butterflies
• Jewelry
• Being artistic
• Unicorns
• Being demure and coy
• Princesses

And here are the things my culture associates with men, boys, and masculinity...

• Sports, especially contact sports like football and hockey
• Superheroes
• Hunting
• Fishing
• Being stoic
• Short hair
• Body hair, especially on legs and armpits
• Dark colors (think about how "men's products" are usually sold in black or dark blue packages)
• Being rugged
• Facial hair
• Large animals like bears or tigers
• Dinosaurs
• Suits
• Ties and bowties
• The outdoors
• Metal
• Rock music
• T-shirts and jeans
• Blue
• Being protective
• Being aggressive
• Dragons
• Geek culture (even though women, young women and teenage girls especially, basically INVENTED geekiness...)
• Being bold and outspoken
• Knights

Now, do the things on the 'woman' list describe all women? Do the things on the 'man' list describe all men? No! These are just the things that contemporary American culture arbitrarily deems 'womanly' or 'manly', even though women can be masculine and men can be feminine and nonbinary people can have any combination of traits. And it's ridiculous and sexist and cissexist. It's not good for anyone.

 Why can't we just like what we like?

But I can rant about heteronormative gender roles another time. The point of this is to say that, in my culture, if the 'femininity' list describes you most closely, your gender expression is probably feminine. If the 'masculinity' list describes you most closely, your gender expression is probably masculine. If, like me, you fall somewhere in-between the two, your gender expression is probably fluid, neutral, or androgynous.

And if you are a man who is androgynous or feminine, or a woman who is androgynous or masculine, you might choose not to label yourself at all. But if you want to, here are some things you could call yourself: femme, butch, gender-nonconforming, gender variant, boi, gender creative, tomboy, ladyboy, sissy, or AG. Or you could make up a label on your own! (But be warned: because gender nonconformity is so sexualized, some of these terms have very sexual connotations. Also, some of them, such as femme and butch, are exclusive to the LGBTQIA community. Be careful about which one, if any, you pick.)

This post is getting really long. Also my blood sugar is low and I'm really hungry. So I'm going to end this post and explain sexual and romantic orientation next time around. I hope this cleared up some lingering questions some of you had.

I Don't Even Know What To Call This...

Hi everyone! As you may have noticed, neither of us has been on here for awhile. We both had some self-care stuff to do, plus we were working on our Tumblr blogs (links on the About the Amoebas page), generally enjoying our summers, and in my case getting ready for the terror of senior year (on the plus side, though, I might be taking this awesome science class called pathology. I get to study diseases! Also, my social studies class is, apparently, pretty much Feminism 101. AND in just two months, I get to call myself an adult! So all that should be pretty fantastic :) ). Anyway, I'm back...for a short while, at least. I'll probably only be posting once or twice a month from now on.

But I wanted to make this post while I still had time.

Are you a teenager thinking of practicing witchcraft or paganism? Not sure your parents will accept you? How about a low-income practitioner, looking for cost-effective ways to explore the energy of the universe (because let's face it, manufactured spellbooks and store-brought sage bundles can be ludicrously expensive.)? A closeted technopagan, looking for simple ideas on how to bring yourself closer to nature in our very modern world without outing yourself? Here's my advice.

1. Find a public hiking trail within biking distance of your house. This should be pretty easy even if you live in an urban area - there should be something around a local park, at least. The one nearest my house is so pretty that it looks like some kind of fairy forest. You might be surprised at what kind of amazing things are hidden in your hometown.
I want to stress that I'm saying biking distance because, depending on where you live, what your family is like, and where you work, you can be in very serious, even life-threatening, danger if you are outed as a pagan or witch. If the wrong person catches on that you're into magic...well, they'll have a harder time proving that witch in the woods is you if they don't have your license plate number. Be safe, darlings.
2. Walk around barefoot outside - preferably on grass or soft dirt. But BE CAREFUL! About ten years ago, I heard a harsh metal sound when I was walking and figured out it was coming from under my foot. I lifted up my sandal and found a big metal fish hook stuck in the rubber sole (my foot was fine, thankfully). So use that as a cautionary tale. And be careful of any animal droppings you find. But really, grass on bare feet is probably one of the best feelings ever. Again, just be safe.
3. Join a social networking site just for witches and pagans. Or follow a Tumblr blog with a magical theme, or join a Facebook group for occultists. I recommend mywitchbook.com, but you have to be eighteen and older to join (I tried to join three months early, briefly mentioned my age in a post, and got temporarily kicked off. But they saved my profile and everything, so I can rejoin after my birthday). I also follow The Wiccan Life, another Blogspot blog.
4. Press herbs and flowers to make your own potpourri.
5. Write your own book of spells and charms, if you're into that. I meditate, pray, keep a BOS (that I frequently forget to write in, unfortunately), and use natural remedies sometimes (chamomile tea is great for any kind of stomach ache, and I hear it works nicely for period cramps too), but that's the most I really get involved with witchcraft, despite the stereotype that all witches are pagans and all pagans are witches. I do love the witchcraft community, though, and it's actually really cool to hear what they've managed to do. Tell me about your own experiences, if you want.
6. Tubing. Twice this month, my family and I have taken inflatable tubes down a river a few hours away from our house. Bring a bottle of water with you (either hold it in your lap or put it in a cupholder) and wear plenty of sunscreen. Bring your own tubes (and paddles if desired) to save money. You can also go kayaking or canoeing, but tubing (especially with paddles) takes fewer spoons. I've also tried white-water rafting, which was terrifying but exhilarating. Take any excuse to get outside.
7. Walk to and from school/work, if possible. Vitamin D and exercise are always good things. Your body is part of nature, and you are beautiful.
8. Hug a tree.
9. Garden. Play music while you do so, if you want.
10. Meditate. With enough practice, you might get to the point where you can stay calm through anything...but DON'T feel bad if you can't get to that point.
11. Dance.
12. Eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables, if possible.
13. Cook something from scratch.
14. Get to know your body.
15. Laugh yourself silly.
16. Talk to plants. Name them too, if you want. My basil plant is Marsha.
17. Listen to the rain.
18. Cuddle an animal.
19. Love yourself.
20. Appreciate the magic in mundane things.

A Few Thoughts on Heaven

Now, for those of you who have been with us for awhile, I've already discussed my religious beliefs (apparently, I'm what's called a henotheist, because I only worship one deity but acknowledge the existence of several others. I only learned this word yesterday. Fascinating!) as an eclectic pagan. And before that, I'd been a devout Christian. I was also an agnostic atheist for a few years, when I realized around seven or eight years old that I really had no proof that anything in the Bible was true, but I "accepted Jesus" (Gag me) around age fourteen and was a devout Christian during my first two years of high school. After that...well, I know some people who manage to reconcile the two, but for me Christianity and bisexuality (not to mention being transgender, aro, and a gray-ace with a libido) didn't work well together.

It wasn't that I had any beef with Jesus himself (I admire him, actually, but in the same way I admire Sylvia Rivera)...well, not much anyway. No, most of the reason I'm no longer wearing my beloved cross necklaces and fervently reading the Bible was because of my fellow Christians. If any of you remember "Jerry Falwell for Paganism" (Jerry Falwell being the very outspoken Southern Baptist fundie who founded and led the hate group known as Moral Majority and thought pagans caused 9/11)...well, Jerry wasn't the only one who alienated marginalized Christians in the US, driving them to leave the religion. But you all know my story.

That's not what I'm here to talk about, anyway. I'll fight the good fight. I'll educate people when I need to and I'll vent when the memories and bad feelings start getting to me. But other than that? I just want to live my life. I want to move on.

But one of the reasons it was hard for me to do that was the book Heaven is for Real. Doubts niggled at my too-trusting mind; how could a four-year-old who couldn't even read the Bible come up with so many details from it?

Then, only a few weeks ago, I found out something that, honestly, shouldn't have surprised me on account of Jesus not being a white guy and Colton (as well as a little girl named Akiane Kramarik, who I'm pretty sure was just dreaming) saying he was. Yeah, that's right Christians. Your precious Jesus was Asian. And Jewish. And poor. And I'm pretty sure aro ace.

I found out that Colton Burpo was faking it, as bad as Karma Ashcroft faked being a lesbian (though I'm still not totally convinced she isn't bi).

And this isn't just some rumor.

Think about it. The Burpos had been going broke when Colton's accident happened. They were desperate and needed the attention and money. Todd Burpo had broken his leg and struggled with a cancer scare. Of course they're going to do something drastic. So they put the kid up to this...this farce...and it gets to the point where they actually travel to meet Akiane, who by the way modeled that painting of hers after a very white family friend. The kid is confused and just wants to make his parents happy. Things start spiraling out of control. And after it all, America is one bad movie richer.

 So much like Alex Malarkey. What a surprise, right? I can't believe I didn't know. I honestly didn't put two and two together until after an old friend, a man who had trained to become a friar, worked as a youth pastor, devoted his life to the Bible, can answer virtually any question you throw at him about Christianity, and keeps close tabs on pretty much everything that happens in the religion, told me that Todd Burpo had faked the whole thing.

And it makes sense, despite Colton's claims that he really did go to Heaven, made when he discovered Malarkey's lie. Why does he feel the need to be so defensive, when many Christians (including myself, for a long time) actually found his story quite convincing already?

But these two (well, three, including Akiane) aren't the only kids who have claimed to visit the afterlife. The difference is that Wendy Chousmatison's story is a lot less well-known, probably because according to her, Heaven is feminist. I mean, an androgynous, dark-skinned Jesus who studied Buddhism? Gay people? Non-Christians? A society without classism? This simply won't do!!!

 Wendy doesn't seem to be faking it. Granted, it's only been three-and-a-half years since Wendy's own alleged (I say alleged because I have no definite proof that she isn't lying) trip to Heaven, and she has been pretty quiet about her experiences, compared to those two little angelic charlatans Alex Malarkey and Colton Burpo.

Her image of Heaven is almost exactly how I picture the Summerland. While that doesn't mean either of us is right, it's definitely caught my attention.l

Unlike Alex and the Burpos, Wendy had no apparent motive to make anything up. She was also much older than either Alex or Colton had been on their faked trips to the Afterlife, and less likely to merely buy into everything her parents told her about religion. If Wendy were going to lie, why would she need to do it?

Now, I'm not saying that Wendy's story is objectively, doubtlessly true. But it's definitely interesting to think about.

Just Another Random Poem

Summer of 2015
This summer is a revolution
And children of the future
Will likely have to remember these
Dates,
Cramming for the newest,
The latest and greatest
Brain-draining exam.

This summer has been testing
As my black and trans sisters
Are murdered around me
And the TV only mentions
White people's names.

This is the summer
Of 2015 -
A silenced summer
As Jennicet Gutierrez
Screams for justice.

This is a summer of justice
Of vengeance for violence -
Of remembrance,
Because being black
Shouldn't be a crime.

This is a summer of sexuality,
Of bodily autonomy
Because in one small way
Rich white Christians
Are forced to respect my
Humanity,
Because I have the satisfaction
Of slightly increased control
Over my own body.

This is the summer
In which the world finally knows
That Josh Duggar didn't allow his sisters the same.

This is a summer
In which history has been repeated
In which blood has been shed.
In which people have died.

This is a summer
In which childless mothers have cried
Because #AllLivesMatter
As long as those lives are cis and white.

Let's learn from this summer of 2015
So that, as they study it in history class,
The children of the future will not repeat our mistakes.