Okay, I unfortunately did not get to do a lot of the things on my 'making Yule special' list this year, only because I started preparing so late. I did go on a lot of hikes (there's not much snow around here, and there's a trail near my house) and meditate and pray. It was cool. And I got to eat some traditional Yule food (sort of) when we had squash at my stepfamily's Christmas party last Saturday.
I did end up giving knitted presents to a lot of family members. Mostly book marks, but I also made a doll, using my own pattern, and I gave it to my four-year-old cousin Abby. The book marks were cute - little strips of knitted material in different colors, with fringes or buttons or ribbon for accents. Right now, I have a red baby's hat going on a loom, and an infinity scarf on my 19-mm plastic needles. I'll give the hat away or sell it, but the scarf has too many mistakes to anything with but keep it. It still looks okay, but I'm just really rusty. This winter is the first time I've knitted in a little over two years.
Obviously, though, when you're one of the only pagan members and one of the only queer members of a mostly Christian, cishet family, there's going to be complications.
A day or two before Christmas, I was explaining to my mom how 'Deck the Halls' used to be about a booze-fueled Christmas party until the lyrics were changed and references to Yule were added, and how Christmas is basically Yule with Jesus. I found this fascinating - I find religion and history in general fascinating - but apparently with her it went in one ear and out the other, because she just gave me this sh*t-eating grin and said, "Well it's a good thing we believe in Jesus!"
In all fairness, I haven't really talked to her about the whole paganism thing. Or the whole bisexuality thing. Or the gender fluidity thing. I don't even think she knows I like girls, despite the fact that I'm a member of like a million LGBTQ+ groups on Facebook, my profile says 'Interested In: Men and Women', and she loves Facebook. But still, she makes little microaggressions all the flipping time and it's so annoying. If I didn't look so infuriatingly much like she had when she was my age, I would wonder if we were even related. But she totally missed the pissed-off look I gave her and as I got out of the car (because we were holiday shopping), she said cheerfully, "Don't be a pagan in there!"
Really? Really, Mom? I was, in fact, a pagan in there. I'm a pagan as I'm writing this. I'm a pagan every day. When I pray, I don't pray to the Abrahamic God. When I do things that pertain to my faith, they are simple prayers and meditations on our neighborhood hiking trail or entries and poems in my BOS. Should I, by some miracle, decide to get married, I'll have a Triple Moon Ceremony. Possibly with a woman. If I end up raising kids, I won't be raising them as Christians (because I'll educate them about all religions to the best of my ability while raising them as pagans and let them decide for themselves when they're older and can make the decision responsibly).
That's exactly what I wanted to say to her. But I digress.
Thankfully, none of the more holier-than-thou relatives tried to engage me or convert me (to cisnormativity, heterosexuality, or Christianity), but I did discover that I've hooked Ella and LiLi's sister Abby (not the four-year-old) on The Fosters, this awesome sitcom on ABC Family about a multiracial blended family with two moms. The news made me smile. I also teased Ella about her refusal to read the Harry Potter series (she apparently finds the magical aspect 'creepy', despite the fact that it can be argued that Jesus was magical. I know, I don't get it either).
There was a Catholic prayer with my mom's side before Christmas Eve dinner, but I can understand that. They are Catholic after all, and the presence of one pagan relative isn't going to change that. I just stayed quiet and quietly thanked the Universe with all its various spirits and deities for my food, good fortune, and health, while my relatives did their Christian thing. We all come from the same spiritual source, after all, and diversity is beautiful. The celebration of it needs to continue with us all, myself included.
Of course, we went to church on Christmas Day. I felt a little awkward - this was the first time I'd actually been inside our local church since admitting to myself that I no longer identified as Christian, since my parents aren't regular church-goers - but it was okay overall. There was a lot of singing and I do like singing. I changed the lyrics of 'Silent Night' to be a little more Yule-y, despite the fact that it was no longer Yule:
Round Yon Goddess Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace...
I heard some mutters from some of the older parishioners when I did that, but if someone I barely know wants to be ignorant, I don't really care as long as they don't do anything that will really hurt someone. I have as much right to freedom of religion as anybody else; I'm not obligated to pay lip service to a religion that has oppressed and murdered people like me for two thousand years.
Ahem.
So, merry meet, happy holidays, and have a good New Year.
I did end up giving knitted presents to a lot of family members. Mostly book marks, but I also made a doll, using my own pattern, and I gave it to my four-year-old cousin Abby. The book marks were cute - little strips of knitted material in different colors, with fringes or buttons or ribbon for accents. Right now, I have a red baby's hat going on a loom, and an infinity scarf on my 19-mm plastic needles. I'll give the hat away or sell it, but the scarf has too many mistakes to anything with but keep it. It still looks okay, but I'm just really rusty. This winter is the first time I've knitted in a little over two years.
Obviously, though, when you're one of the only pagan members and one of the only queer members of a mostly Christian, cishet family, there's going to be complications.
A day or two before Christmas, I was explaining to my mom how 'Deck the Halls' used to be about a booze-fueled Christmas party until the lyrics were changed and references to Yule were added, and how Christmas is basically Yule with Jesus. I found this fascinating - I find religion and history in general fascinating - but apparently with her it went in one ear and out the other, because she just gave me this sh*t-eating grin and said, "Well it's a good thing we believe in Jesus!"
In all fairness, I haven't really talked to her about the whole paganism thing. Or the whole bisexuality thing. Or the gender fluidity thing. I don't even think she knows I like girls, despite the fact that I'm a member of like a million LGBTQ+ groups on Facebook, my profile says 'Interested In: Men and Women', and she loves Facebook. But still, she makes little microaggressions all the flipping time and it's so annoying. If I didn't look so infuriatingly much like she had when she was my age, I would wonder if we were even related. But she totally missed the pissed-off look I gave her and as I got out of the car (because we were holiday shopping), she said cheerfully, "Don't be a pagan in there!"
Really? Really, Mom? I was, in fact, a pagan in there. I'm a pagan as I'm writing this. I'm a pagan every day. When I pray, I don't pray to the Abrahamic God. When I do things that pertain to my faith, they are simple prayers and meditations on our neighborhood hiking trail or entries and poems in my BOS. Should I, by some miracle, decide to get married, I'll have a Triple Moon Ceremony. Possibly with a woman. If I end up raising kids, I won't be raising them as Christians (because I'll educate them about all religions to the best of my ability while raising them as pagans and let them decide for themselves when they're older and can make the decision responsibly).
That's exactly what I wanted to say to her. But I digress.
Thankfully, none of the more holier-than-thou relatives tried to engage me or convert me (to cisnormativity, heterosexuality, or Christianity), but I did discover that I've hooked Ella and LiLi's sister Abby (not the four-year-old) on The Fosters, this awesome sitcom on ABC Family about a multiracial blended family with two moms. The news made me smile. I also teased Ella about her refusal to read the Harry Potter series (she apparently finds the magical aspect 'creepy', despite the fact that it can be argued that Jesus was magical. I know, I don't get it either).
There was a Catholic prayer with my mom's side before Christmas Eve dinner, but I can understand that. They are Catholic after all, and the presence of one pagan relative isn't going to change that. I just stayed quiet and quietly thanked the Universe with all its various spirits and deities for my food, good fortune, and health, while my relatives did their Christian thing. We all come from the same spiritual source, after all, and diversity is beautiful. The celebration of it needs to continue with us all, myself included.
Of course, we went to church on Christmas Day. I felt a little awkward - this was the first time I'd actually been inside our local church since admitting to myself that I no longer identified as Christian, since my parents aren't regular church-goers - but it was okay overall. There was a lot of singing and I do like singing. I changed the lyrics of 'Silent Night' to be a little more Yule-y, despite the fact that it was no longer Yule:
Round Yon Goddess Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace...
I heard some mutters from some of the older parishioners when I did that, but if someone I barely know wants to be ignorant, I don't really care as long as they don't do anything that will really hurt someone. I have as much right to freedom of religion as anybody else; I'm not obligated to pay lip service to a religion that has oppressed and murdered people like me for two thousand years.
Ahem.
So, merry meet, happy holidays, and have a good New Year.
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