As I'm sure many of you know, I have a profile on the fandom website, fanfiction.net. I was scrolling through the Fairly Oddparents fanfiction archive when I found this writer.
As a nonbinary person, I'm reluctant to gender this person, whose identity I don't know. However, problematic language like "I like fat chubby female bellys" and their fetishization of lesbians and fat women indicates to me that they are a straight, cisgender, thin male.
In any case, this person seems incredibly ignorant and upholds discriminatory tendencies and misogyny in their writing, which I simply can not accept. So I called them out on it here. Look for my screen name, powerofthepen123, and that one really long review.
Of course, I can't make claims like "fetishization of lesbians and fat women" without proper evidence.
1. They write gay pairings, but with only femslash. There are no gay male pairings under the screen name Squishy Belly Lover (to be fair, I haven't written any major gay male pairings either, but I have included ace representation and made the relationship between my Firelight OCs, Aiya Singh and Blue Murphy, romantic and healthy and freaking not abusive or manipulative. I made it somewhat like a real relationship that would appeal to real teen lesbians, drawing upon the qualities that I look for in potential girlfriends as well as the experiences and stories I've heard from other young women-loving women). In their stories that include femslash, the characters seem to have little to nothing in common, to have no or very little sexual chemistry in the canon, or both.
2. The "romance" in these pairings, if you can call it romance when they're not really doing anything to make the women realistically develop a relatable romantic relationship, seems to consist mostly of the two lesbian characters going out to all-you-can-eat buffets while one character raids the whole thing and the other watches, almost drooling with lust as her girlfriend gains weight. The fat woman is somehow fine with this fetishization; realistically this is at least plausible because there's a myth in queer subculture that cis lesbians are unable to uphold the patriarchy, so it might not occur to these fat lesbians to call out their thin, cis girlfriends on the objectification they are perpetrating. However, this objectification is not portrayed realistically, and the potential opportunity to educate readers about misogyny in the lesbian community seems to fly right over Squishy Belly Lover's head.
3. The lesbian sex in SBL's stories seems like it came from fetishistic lesbian porn. As a sex-positive feminist, I support sex workers and that includes porn stars, but so much of pornography (excluding gay male) is marketed toward straight men. That includes lesbian porn, which seems to be more about performing for men than realistic sexual enjoyment for actual lesbians. Most lesbians I've talked to that have watched and/or read porn find lesbian porn unenjoyable.
I've read lesbian romance that included sex scenes, and was often left feeling like said sex wasn't truly intended to cater to my desires. Of course, as a transgender fat person, I have issues with my body even though I'm trying to improve my relationship with it. But, body issues aside, I do know what I want in sex, and the heterosexism invading lesbian porn isn't it.
I'm a lesbian and I'm proud of being one. There are a lot of great things about being a queer woman (as I mentioned in the post where I came out as genderfluid, woman is one of the labels I identify with), but fetishization by straight men isn't one of them. If you'd like to read about how porn can be more feminist, check out this article.
4. When describing the appearance of the fat women in his stories, Squishy Belly Lover rarely goes beyond aspects of their appearances related to their weight. They make it clear in their profile that they find bigger women sexually attractive, but it's a fine line between having a preference and fetishizing a marginalized group of people (i.e. the harassment APIA, Native American, and Latina women face from straight white men). Judging by Squishy's stories, they don't seem to realize that this is fetishization, let alone that said fetishization is problematic.
I don't want to be desexualized for being fat, but I will also not tolerate benevolent sizeism. I am a human being and I deserve to be valued and seen as beautiful, just as anyone else does. Not despite my fatness. Not because of my fatness. But with, and regardless of, my fatness. I am a fat queer woman and I am beautiful. I am valued and valuable, though certain people - including Squishy Belly Lover - might not treat people like me that way.
5. Squishy Belly Lover presumes to understand the experiences of fat women and lesbians - clearly, they haven't actually talked to any fat women or lesbians about this. Their work practically reeks of thin privilege and male privilege, another thing that leads me to believe they are a thin, cis male. They are not a woman. They are not fat. They are not gay. If they are going to write stories about fat, gay women - and they should, because fat gay women deserve to be written about - they need to be sensitive and listen to the experiences of actual fat, gay women in order to write these stories respectfully.
Media inclusivity is important. So is using a privileged voice responsibly. It is up to us, as privileged writers, to do so.
As a nonbinary person, I'm reluctant to gender this person, whose identity I don't know. However, problematic language like "I like fat chubby female bellys" and their fetishization of lesbians and fat women indicates to me that they are a straight, cisgender, thin male.
In any case, this person seems incredibly ignorant and upholds discriminatory tendencies and misogyny in their writing, which I simply can not accept. So I called them out on it here. Look for my screen name, powerofthepen123, and that one really long review.
Of course, I can't make claims like "fetishization of lesbians and fat women" without proper evidence.
1. They write gay pairings, but with only femslash. There are no gay male pairings under the screen name Squishy Belly Lover (to be fair, I haven't written any major gay male pairings either, but I have included ace representation and made the relationship between my Firelight OCs, Aiya Singh and Blue Murphy, romantic and healthy and freaking not abusive or manipulative. I made it somewhat like a real relationship that would appeal to real teen lesbians, drawing upon the qualities that I look for in potential girlfriends as well as the experiences and stories I've heard from other young women-loving women). In their stories that include femslash, the characters seem to have little to nothing in common, to have no or very little sexual chemistry in the canon, or both.
2. The "romance" in these pairings, if you can call it romance when they're not really doing anything to make the women realistically develop a relatable romantic relationship, seems to consist mostly of the two lesbian characters going out to all-you-can-eat buffets while one character raids the whole thing and the other watches, almost drooling with lust as her girlfriend gains weight. The fat woman is somehow fine with this fetishization; realistically this is at least plausible because there's a myth in queer subculture that cis lesbians are unable to uphold the patriarchy, so it might not occur to these fat lesbians to call out their thin, cis girlfriends on the objectification they are perpetrating. However, this objectification is not portrayed realistically, and the potential opportunity to educate readers about misogyny in the lesbian community seems to fly right over Squishy Belly Lover's head.
3. The lesbian sex in SBL's stories seems like it came from fetishistic lesbian porn. As a sex-positive feminist, I support sex workers and that includes porn stars, but so much of pornography (excluding gay male) is marketed toward straight men. That includes lesbian porn, which seems to be more about performing for men than realistic sexual enjoyment for actual lesbians. Most lesbians I've talked to that have watched and/or read porn find lesbian porn unenjoyable.
I've read lesbian romance that included sex scenes, and was often left feeling like said sex wasn't truly intended to cater to my desires. Of course, as a transgender fat person, I have issues with my body even though I'm trying to improve my relationship with it. But, body issues aside, I do know what I want in sex, and the heterosexism invading lesbian porn isn't it.
I'm a lesbian and I'm proud of being one. There are a lot of great things about being a queer woman (as I mentioned in the post where I came out as genderfluid, woman is one of the labels I identify with), but fetishization by straight men isn't one of them. If you'd like to read about how porn can be more feminist, check out this article.
4. When describing the appearance of the fat women in his stories, Squishy Belly Lover rarely goes beyond aspects of their appearances related to their weight. They make it clear in their profile that they find bigger women sexually attractive, but it's a fine line between having a preference and fetishizing a marginalized group of people (i.e. the harassment APIA, Native American, and Latina women face from straight white men). Judging by Squishy's stories, they don't seem to realize that this is fetishization, let alone that said fetishization is problematic.
I don't want to be desexualized for being fat, but I will also not tolerate benevolent sizeism. I am a human being and I deserve to be valued and seen as beautiful, just as anyone else does. Not despite my fatness. Not because of my fatness. But with, and regardless of, my fatness. I am a fat queer woman and I am beautiful. I am valued and valuable, though certain people - including Squishy Belly Lover - might not treat people like me that way.
5. Squishy Belly Lover presumes to understand the experiences of fat women and lesbians - clearly, they haven't actually talked to any fat women or lesbians about this. Their work practically reeks of thin privilege and male privilege, another thing that leads me to believe they are a thin, cis male. They are not a woman. They are not fat. They are not gay. If they are going to write stories about fat, gay women - and they should, because fat gay women deserve to be written about - they need to be sensitive and listen to the experiences of actual fat, gay women in order to write these stories respectfully.
Media inclusivity is important. So is using a privileged voice responsibly. It is up to us, as privileged writers, to do so.
1 comment:
http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/01/how-not-to-make-love-to-a-fat-girl/
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