For whatever reason, a lot of cishet people seem to think that everyone who is attracted to men and everyone who is masculine is attracted to women. I'm not sure what this says about androgynous people, not to mention aromantics, asexuals, and multisexuals, but it's so painfully untrue that I decided to confront it.
1. Straight tomboys exist and nobody says a word about them, but if a tomboy is a lesbian or multisexual, her androgyny is assumed to be BECAUSE of her identity. How is that fair?
2. Most crossdressers are women or straight men, so why are queer men stereotyped as feminine? And why are queer men so hated, mocked, and discriminated against when they ARE feminine? Why is femininity a bad thing?
Think about that for a second. Now unpack your misogyny, homophobia, and femmephobia.
Femininity is not a bad thing.
3. From personal experience, queer cis people conform to gender roles at roughly the same rate as straight cis people, aside from the fact that queer sexuality and romance in themselves defy heteronormative gender roles.
I mentioned in the My Journey post that most of my close friends are queer girls, but there's also several others at my school. And from experience, queer women are no more or less feminine than straight women. The only difference is that while all straight women are into men, only some queer women are.
As for queer men versus straight men, I can't really compare as much because I don't know many out queer men. Let's see...there's three cis gay men (two adults and a teenager), two bi cis boys (I edited this post after a friend came out to me), and one cis boy who is some variety of not-straight but I've never asked exactly what and he's never told me. One of these men is androgynous, but the other four are masculine. Especially if you factor in #3, queer men are no more or less masculine than straight men.
As for trans people, whether queer or straight...well, by virtue of being trans we're automatically gender variant. And many of us in the trans community have this delightful fondness of rejecting the concept of gender norms altogether. While I'm a big fan of the practice in theory, I'm too indoctrinated into heteronormativity to fully adopt it in practice. I try, though. And what I've observed is that this makes much more sense than the sexist, racist system we have in place now. I can't understand why cis people don't just adopt it already, but then cis people also think WE'RE the strange ones. I'm not sure why.
Decent cishet Christian men, don't freak if your toddler son likes playing with his sister's Disney Princess stuff. It doesn't necessarily mean he'll be gay, or that your son is actually your daughter. And if he is? So what? What are you so afraid of? Don't bring fire and brimstone into it, either. Unless you can actually give me proof of Satan that DOESN'T come in the form of Bible verses, I refuse to take any proselytizing you may have to offer seriously.
Cishet moms, just go with it if your nine-year-old daughter starts refusing to wear all things pink and frilly. She might just be a tomboy. She might be queer. She might actually be your son. She might have some internalized misogyny - and if you feel like that might be the case, you need to have a heart to heart with her. But that's a whole 'nother rant.
Honestly, I think Timmy Turner's dad had it right when he said, "Where is it written in this one sided society that a man can't be beautiful?!"
1. Straight tomboys exist and nobody says a word about them, but if a tomboy is a lesbian or multisexual, her androgyny is assumed to be BECAUSE of her identity. How is that fair?
2. Most crossdressers are women or straight men, so why are queer men stereotyped as feminine? And why are queer men so hated, mocked, and discriminated against when they ARE feminine? Why is femininity a bad thing?
Think about that for a second. Now unpack your misogyny, homophobia, and femmephobia.
Femininity is not a bad thing.
3. From personal experience, queer cis people conform to gender roles at roughly the same rate as straight cis people, aside from the fact that queer sexuality and romance in themselves defy heteronormative gender roles.
I mentioned in the My Journey post that most of my close friends are queer girls, but there's also several others at my school. And from experience, queer women are no more or less feminine than straight women. The only difference is that while all straight women are into men, only some queer women are.
As for queer men versus straight men, I can't really compare as much because I don't know many out queer men. Let's see...there's three cis gay men (two adults and a teenager), two bi cis boys (I edited this post after a friend came out to me), and one cis boy who is some variety of not-straight but I've never asked exactly what and he's never told me. One of these men is androgynous, but the other four are masculine. Especially if you factor in #3, queer men are no more or less masculine than straight men.
As for trans people, whether queer or straight...well, by virtue of being trans we're automatically gender variant. And many of us in the trans community have this delightful fondness of rejecting the concept of gender norms altogether. While I'm a big fan of the practice in theory, I'm too indoctrinated into heteronormativity to fully adopt it in practice. I try, though. And what I've observed is that this makes much more sense than the sexist, racist system we have in place now. I can't understand why cis people don't just adopt it already, but then cis people also think WE'RE the strange ones. I'm not sure why.
Decent cishet Christian men, don't freak if your toddler son likes playing with his sister's Disney Princess stuff. It doesn't necessarily mean he'll be gay, or that your son is actually your daughter. And if he is? So what? What are you so afraid of? Don't bring fire and brimstone into it, either. Unless you can actually give me proof of Satan that DOESN'T come in the form of Bible verses, I refuse to take any proselytizing you may have to offer seriously.
Cishet moms, just go with it if your nine-year-old daughter starts refusing to wear all things pink and frilly. She might just be a tomboy. She might be queer. She might actually be your son. She might have some internalized misogyny - and if you feel like that might be the case, you need to have a heart to heart with her. But that's a whole 'nother rant.
Honestly, I think Timmy Turner's dad had it right when he said, "Where is it written in this one sided society that a man can't be beautiful?!"
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