Just Another Random Poem

Summer of 2015
This summer is a revolution
And children of the future
Will likely have to remember these
Dates,
Cramming for the newest,
The latest and greatest
Brain-draining exam.

This summer has been testing
As my black and trans sisters
Are murdered around me
And the TV only mentions
White people's names.

This is the summer
Of 2015 -
A silenced summer
As Jennicet Gutierrez
Screams for justice.

This is a summer of justice
Of vengeance for violence -
Of remembrance,
Because being black
Shouldn't be a crime.

This is a summer of sexuality,
Of bodily autonomy
Because in one small way
Rich white Christians
Are forced to respect my
Humanity,
Because I have the satisfaction
Of slightly increased control
Over my own body.

This is the summer
In which the world finally knows
That Josh Duggar didn't allow his sisters the same.

This is a summer
In which history has been repeated
In which blood has been shed.
In which people have died.

This is a summer
In which childless mothers have cried
Because #AllLivesMatter
As long as those lives are cis and white.

Let's learn from this summer of 2015
So that, as they study it in history class,
The children of the future will not repeat our mistakes.

Thoughts About Josh Duggar

TW: rape, misogyny, rape apologism, Christianity, incest

Until now, Mod Frey and I have been largely silent on the topic of Josh Duggar.

So I'll write a post about him - and, more importantly, the fact that he raped five girls.

Look, if you've even vaguely heard of 19 Kids and Counting - a show I've long despised - you probably know the gist of the story by now. Nine years ago, sweet little Joshie, then a teenager, fondled the breasts and genitalia of five young girls, four of whom were his sisters. His parents and a state trooper - a man who is currently serving time for child pornography - deliberately covered up the crime until the statute of limitations had passed. In fact, Duggar's rapes would have gone completely unreported if not for some investigating that uncovered accusations of rape (I don't know all the details on this, but I assume said investigating was done by someone who finds the Duggars as creepy and horrifying as I do; I praise their unknown name).

And the "help" these people got for Josh was a few months of carpentry work. Under a family friend who also covered up his crime.

Now that I've covered the background of the crime, let's get to the aftermath.

1. People have been calling this a "controversy"...and do I even need to explain why this is wrong? The man is a SERIAL RAPIST. He's the scum of the earth. That shouldn't be controversial. It should be horrifying.
2. People have been defending Josh Duggar. See #1.
3. Josh Duggar was once on the Marriage and Family Council. You know, one of those cults that pretends to "love homosexuals but hate homosexuality" or some other crap. Or maybe they just openly hate queer people. I don't even know anymore. These cults all look alike to me, and the Duggars really are one by themselves.
4. So...why is being queer a sin, yet rape is still defended?
5. People who defend Josh Duggar, I really need to know. Do you just have some strange obsession with making sure nobody has control over their own bodies?
6. In one of many awesome tweets responding to Josh Duggar's serial rapes - let's call them what they are - a woman said something along the lines of "I don't know why anyone's surprised by the cover-up. Putting the needs of a son over multiple daughters is the very definition of patriarchy."

Well said, strange woman. Well said.

Food Bank Etiquette and Important Notes

This is a post for those of you who've fallen on hard times and come to the realization that yes you will have to ask for an an actual hand out this time round.

First of all, going to the food bank is nothing to be ashamed of hundreds, even thousands of people visit such places Every. Single. Day. and the only thing wrong with that is the fact that our society has made it so difficult to get by without them. Secondly if you do have to go to one you can trust me when I say that no one else there is going to be judgmental of you for being there, after all they're in the same boat as you.

I'm gonna move onto the Etiquette now;

Basic etiquette rule #1 -  If you are an able bodied, neurotypical, young person than trust me when I say you can stand in line a bit longer than the elderly woman with a walker it's polite to let this person cut in front of you in line or switch numbers with her if the food bank you're at happens to have a take a number system and you get one that goes in before her.

Basic etiquette rule #2 - Again this is for able bodied, neurotypical, young people. The food bank might have shady spaces or seating outside, if there are people who need these spaces more than you than you can stand in the light for a bit, I suggest bringing a pair of sunglasses and an umbrella if the light does bother you.

Basic etiquette rule #3 - If a person ahead of you happens to stall a moment to feed their child, whether it be by bottle, or breast, or just a little snack of solid food, you stay in your own space and let them be. It Is None Of Your Business.

Basic etiquette rule #4 - Finally I just want to say that it's rude to stare, so don't do it.

And now the notes!

1: There are A LOT of people at food banks, if this is a problem for you I strongly suggest bringing your phone (if you have one) or a book (again if you have one) to help you ignore them, it's not much but it helps me when I have to go, though I'll admit some people are still fairly rude and have bothered me whilst I read, drew, or listened to music.

2: Sometimes the people in charge of the food bank are just plain mean, they may care enough to help you get what you need but plenty of them are just there for volunteer hours, do not take their attitude as a personal affront it's their problem not yours.

3: Finally I want to say that people may push or shove when you are inside the food bank so if you did not arrive early enough to be first in line than I suggest hanging around in the back to maintain elbow room.

These are the observations I've made from regularly having to visit the nearest food bank for my own family, I could give more advice if requested but these seemed to stand out the most

Mod Frey

Clarification

As a genderfluid person, I'm part woman and tend to shift between feminine genders a lot. I'm sometimes female, sometimes demigirl, sometimes androgyne, sometimes agender, sometimes demiboy, and sometimes I don't even know. I'm also regularly perceived as a woman, or at least as womanlike, so I'm treated as a woman socially and politically...which is sometimes dysphoria-inducing, actually...so I experience sexism. If/when I refer to myself as a woman or girl, these are my reasons for doing so.

As for my sexuality...I know it gets confusing. I've only ever had romantic crushes on four people, though most of those were partly platonic (and I'm not even sure if one of them was a crush), in my nearly-eighteen years, and all of my crushes have identifed at least partly as women and girls. So I call myself myself a lesbian as well as aroflux.

 And being gray-ace, I don't experience a whole lot of sexual attraction in the first place and don't really want a sexual relationship. Should the urge to have sex ever strike me, I'll go off and do it. But in the meantime, I mostly prefer to just look at hot people and not do much of anything about it. The sexual attraction I do feel is mostly towards women, and I tend to favor femininity, but that doesn't mean I don't occasionally find queer butch women and masculine men (I'm not comparing butch women to men, I'm saying that I'm attracted to them less so than femmes because I prefer femininity) attractive. I have a thing for Tyler Posey, for example. But I don't really want to do anything about that and don't think I would want to if I had the chance. I just think he's good looking. Yeah...my sexuality is complicated. That's partly why I don't label it as anything but gray-ace and queer anymore. And now maybe as sappho. :)

Things that should not be said to Asexuals.

"Why do you make (insert genital name) jokes if you don't like sex?"

I am asexual, that does not mean I have no sense of humor, sometimes these jokes are funny.

"Don't you care about your partners needs?"

Of course I do! I just think that they should care about my needs as well.

"So you're asexual, like you just don't like dating?"

Really dear? I said aSEXUAL not aROMANTIC, I am still quite happy with romance

"I bet I could fix that ;)"

I don't need fixing

"You just haven't met The One"

Life's not a rom-com, there is no 'One'

"You're being selfish!"

No I'm not, you are