What Autistic Teens Want You to Know

Wow, the month flew by. I almost didn't do this post for Autism Acceptance Month (I like that name better). But it's finished just in time.

So here is what autistic teenagers want you to know:

1. I wish people would understand how my brain works a little better. I mean, I know this isn’t true for all autistic people, but for me, my brain works a little like a computer. Computers are good with codes. I’m good with languages, science, and math because those are like codes to me. I learn them in ways that make sense to me. If you ask me to explain algebra or Latin, I will do that in a way that makes sense to me. Computers are not good with emotion. I’m not a robot and I have feelings and can empathize, but I don’t know how to show emotion toward others in a way that makes sense to allistics and doesn’t involve touching/hugging. Computers get overloaded and glitch when you try to make them process too many things. When I’m overloaded, I rock back and forth, curl up in a ball, cry, can’t talk (other than swear words interestingly  ), can’t make eye contact, pull my hair, get nauseous, etc. And if I’m forced to talk or interact, I won’t be able to think clearly and will probably say or do something that I’ll later regret. If you get in my face and I feel threatened when I’m overloaded, I can even be physically violent (i.e. pushing, shoving, scratching) and will do whatever is necessary to get you away from me. And I wish that more people understood that I am human. My brain may work like a computer, but that doesn’t make me a robot.
2. No, i don’t appreciate being baby talked at and called 'cute' when i stutter or misunderstand something, would you like me doing that to you?
3. That it’s a lot less like the idea they have of us being “developmentally slow” allistics and more like we’re an entirely different neurotype. Cats are not “developmentally slow” dogs. They will never be dogs. They are cats and that is okay. We do not have to try to turn cats into dogs, you know? Just as a metaphor. Different computer operating systems is another good one.
4. That we don’t need to be cured. That being autistic isn’t the end of the world, something we need to be pitied for. That we’re not a massive burden on others that need to be eradicated, and maybe if we were just listened to and understood, people wouldn’t look at us as a burden anyway. If there wasn’t such a stigma around us saying we were bad or troublesome things would be easier for both us and the people who are convinced we’re bad.
5. There is more than one way to be intelligent. All of those ways are valid.
6. I wish allistics knew that I’m not ‘shy’ at all. I actually have difficulty speaking around lots of people – I’m not afraid of what they’ll think or me or anything like that.
7.  I wish allistics knew that sensory overload is not just 'getting overly annoyed.' It is literal hell.
8. I wish allistics knew that just because I’m not nonverbal or externally screaming when something goes a little bit off, that doesn’t mean I’m not autistic.
9. I'm aro ace and I wish they knew that being autistic doesn't invalidate my queerness. Not all autists are aromantic or asexual, and not all aro aces are autistic. Autistic people, including me, can and do form meaningful relationships. They might be platonic, they might be romantic, they might be sexual, they might not - but they are meaningful. And I'm not aromantic or asexual BECAUSE of my autism, so don't even ask - not to mention, it's super rude to ask someone's 'reasons' for their identity.
10. I wish they understood that my verbal communication abilities (or even written and non-verbal, but to a lesser extent) vary from day to day and even hour to hour. I’m tired of hearing 'but you were talking just fine yesterday' on days when i can barely communicate or not communicate at all.

And here's what I want you to know: Allistics, I don't consider your ways of communicating any more valid than mine. I don't consider your experiences any more valid - especially when it comes to autism; when it comes to autism your opinions and experiences are completely irrelevant. I will not change to accommodate you. I will demand respect and equality. I will not be cured.

And to neurotypicals specifically: You are not the center of the universe.