Survey Results (Thus Far)

Responses to the Allosexism and Amatonormativity Survey:

Demographics:

• 44.4% of respondents are asexual
• 22.2% of respondents are gray-asexual
• 5.6% of respondents are demisexual
• 11.1% of respondents are bisexual
• 11.1% of respondents are heterosexual
• 5.6% of respondents are an unlisted orientation

• 55.6% of respondents are aromantic
• 27.8% of respondents are gray-aromantic
• 5.6% of respondents are demiromantic
• 5.6% of respondents are homoromantic
• 5.6% are an unlisted romantic orientation

• 77.8% of respondents had been assigned female at birth
• 28.6% of female-assigned respondents are women and girls
• 14.3% of female-assigned respondents are agender
• 35.7% of female-assigned respondents are genderfluid
• 14.3% of female-assigned respondents are part of an unlisted gender(s)
• 22.2% of respondents had been assigned male at birth
• 50% of male-assigned respondents are women and girls
• 25% of male-assigned respondents are agender
• 25% of male-assigned respondents are men and boys

• 22.2% of respondents are Christian
• 27.8% of respondents are atheists
• 5.6% of respondents are agnostic
• 28.6% of respondents belong to an unlisted religion
• 5.6% of respondents are witches
• 5.6% of respondents are Sikhs
• 13.3% of respondents declined to reply to this question

• 88.9% of respondents are white
• 5.6% of respondents are Polynesian
• 5.6% of respondents are Asian

• 20% of respondents reported coming from an abusive, toxic, or destructive family environment

• 6.7% of respondents reported having been sexually abused or raped. The sexual orientation(s) of said respondents are unknown.

• 13.3% of respondents are upper-middle class
• 53.3% of respondents are middle class
• 13.3% of respondents are lower-middle class
• 20% of respondents are poor

• 6.7% of respondents are out to their families
• 40% of respondents are out to their friends
• 6.7% of respondents reject the idea of the closet
• 13.3% of respondents chose an unlisted option
• 33.3% of respondents declined to answer

• 33.3% of respondents are teenagers
• 33.3% of respondents are in their twenties
• 6.7% of respondents are in their thirties
• 36.7% of respondents declined to answer

Allosexism and Amatonormativity

• 58.3% of respondents on the aromantic spectrum had been told that their romantic orientations don't exist
• 72.3% of respondents  had been told their sexual orientations don't exist
• 29.9% of respondents had been called an allosexist slur

• 66.7% of respondents had been overlooked, erased, or silenced in the queer community

• 33.3% of respondents had been told that they were cold or unloving for being on the asexual spectrum
• 6.7% of respondents had experienced corrective rape

Opinions

• 66.7% of respondents believe acephobia is real
• 66.7% of respondents believe arophobia is real
• 66.7% of respondents believe allosexual/alloromantic privilege is real
• 60% of respondents believe the A in the LGBTQIA+ alphabet should not stand for 'ally'

Note that these statistics only indicate people who had taken the survey after I revised the form.

The Truth About Conversion Therapy

Pray the Gay Away - EXPOSED

This is Laci Green's video on conversion therapy. Please just watch.

Frustrated with Prejudiced Former Friends

So. I'm not going to name names here, and that is why we're going to call the two girls mentioned in this post 'Daisy' and 'Rissa.'

Until recently, Rissa had been my best friend. We'd known each other since before we were even born. When I was two and she was three, her family came to visit mine (then living out of state). And I, being the most awkward toddler ever, would barely talk to her. But she pried me out of my shell, and for the next fourteen years she was like the sister I never had.

Rissa has a younger sister named Daisy, about four years younger than her. Daisy, for much of my friendship with Rissa, was just my friend's annoying kid sister whom I had to put up with. But as she got older, Daisy became our friend too, and as close to me as her sister was.

The problem? They were homophobic and transphobic, and for obvious reasons I'm not cool with that. And their prejudice really hurt me, though every time I consider telling them the exact reasons why, I freeze up and panic.

Taking the advice of another girl who'd been similarly burned, I decided to simply cut off my friendship with them. And I tried. I don't hate Rissa and Daisy; I love them as sisters in Christ, but I really don't like them and the way they're acting right now. But I didn't remove them from my Facebook friends list, because that seemed rather petty. So when I posted a message on my page protesting the transphobia of reality star Michelle Duggars, they saw it and responded negatively.

I won't go into the whole argument, but eventually Daisy messaged me with all the Bible verses that fundamentalist Christians interpret as condemning homosexuality and transgenderism (they don't condemn either, actually; they condemn shrine prostitution, rape, hostility to strangers, and lack of hospitality but I'll go into that later with the help of some friends and family who have studied the Bible much more extensively than I and can explain much more efficiently.) and I told her to shut up unless she had something positive to say, and that her sister could do the same. At which point she replied with a series of 'I love yous.' But those are just words, and honestly I'm not convinced she means them.

 I told her honestly that I love her too, but explained also explained my other feelings on our whole awkward, hurtful situation. Thus far, she hasn't responded.

The whole thing is just so frustrating. I want our old friendship back and I'm sick of this drama, but I'm not going to put up with their prejudice (especially when it's directed at several of my other friends, who have supported and loved me through this mess and have helped me pull myself back together again) and I'm not going to back down from my advocacy for the LGBTQIAA+ community. I also know that right now, being friends with either one will only get me hurt. As I wrote in Sunshine, it's my choice whether to let these destructive people into my life or not, and right now I choose not to.

But...fourteen years is a long time. I literally can't remember a time when Rissa and Daisy weren't a part of my life in some way. They really are like my sisters, and it hurts to cut off two people so close to me. Any thoughts?