I Don't Even Know What To Call This...

Hi everyone! As you may have noticed, neither of us has been on here for awhile. We both had some self-care stuff to do, plus we were working on our Tumblr blogs (links on the About the Amoebas page), generally enjoying our summers, and in my case getting ready for the terror of senior year (on the plus side, though, I might be taking this awesome science class called pathology. I get to study diseases! Also, my social studies class is, apparently, pretty much Feminism 101. AND in just two months, I get to call myself an adult! So all that should be pretty fantastic :) ). Anyway, I'm back...for a short while, at least. I'll probably only be posting once or twice a month from now on.

But I wanted to make this post while I still had time.

Are you a teenager thinking of practicing witchcraft or paganism? Not sure your parents will accept you? How about a low-income practitioner, looking for cost-effective ways to explore the energy of the universe (because let's face it, manufactured spellbooks and store-brought sage bundles can be ludicrously expensive.)? A closeted technopagan, looking for simple ideas on how to bring yourself closer to nature in our very modern world without outing yourself? Here's my advice.

1. Find a public hiking trail within biking distance of your house. This should be pretty easy even if you live in an urban area - there should be something around a local park, at least. The one nearest my house is so pretty that it looks like some kind of fairy forest. You might be surprised at what kind of amazing things are hidden in your hometown.
I want to stress that I'm saying biking distance because, depending on where you live, what your family is like, and where you work, you can be in very serious, even life-threatening, danger if you are outed as a pagan or witch. If the wrong person catches on that you're into magic...well, they'll have a harder time proving that witch in the woods is you if they don't have your license plate number. Be safe, darlings.
2. Walk around barefoot outside - preferably on grass or soft dirt. But BE CAREFUL! About ten years ago, I heard a harsh metal sound when I was walking and figured out it was coming from under my foot. I lifted up my sandal and found a big metal fish hook stuck in the rubber sole (my foot was fine, thankfully). So use that as a cautionary tale. And be careful of any animal droppings you find. But really, grass on bare feet is probably one of the best feelings ever. Again, just be safe.
3. Join a social networking site just for witches and pagans. Or follow a Tumblr blog with a magical theme, or join a Facebook group for occultists. I recommend mywitchbook.com, but you have to be eighteen and older to join (I tried to join three months early, briefly mentioned my age in a post, and got temporarily kicked off. But they saved my profile and everything, so I can rejoin after my birthday). I also follow The Wiccan Life, another Blogspot blog.
4. Press herbs and flowers to make your own potpourri.
5. Write your own book of spells and charms, if you're into that. I meditate, pray, keep a BOS (that I frequently forget to write in, unfortunately), and use natural remedies sometimes (chamomile tea is great for any kind of stomach ache, and I hear it works nicely for period cramps too), but that's the most I really get involved with witchcraft, despite the stereotype that all witches are pagans and all pagans are witches. I do love the witchcraft community, though, and it's actually really cool to hear what they've managed to do. Tell me about your own experiences, if you want.
6. Tubing. Twice this month, my family and I have taken inflatable tubes down a river a few hours away from our house. Bring a bottle of water with you (either hold it in your lap or put it in a cupholder) and wear plenty of sunscreen. Bring your own tubes (and paddles if desired) to save money. You can also go kayaking or canoeing, but tubing (especially with paddles) takes fewer spoons. I've also tried white-water rafting, which was terrifying but exhilarating. Take any excuse to get outside.
7. Walk to and from school/work, if possible. Vitamin D and exercise are always good things. Your body is part of nature, and you are beautiful.
8. Hug a tree.
9. Garden. Play music while you do so, if you want.
10. Meditate. With enough practice, you might get to the point where you can stay calm through anything...but DON'T feel bad if you can't get to that point.
11. Dance.
12. Eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables, if possible.
13. Cook something from scratch.
14. Get to know your body.
15. Laugh yourself silly.
16. Talk to plants. Name them too, if you want. My basil plant is Marsha.
17. Listen to the rain.
18. Cuddle an animal.
19. Love yourself.
20. Appreciate the magic in mundane things.

A Few Thoughts on Heaven

Now, for those of you who have been with us for awhile, I've already discussed my religious beliefs (apparently, I'm what's called a henotheist, because I only worship one deity but acknowledge the existence of several others. I only learned this word yesterday. Fascinating!) as an eclectic pagan. And before that, I'd been a devout Christian. I was also an agnostic atheist for a few years, when I realized around seven or eight years old that I really had no proof that anything in the Bible was true, but I "accepted Jesus" (Gag me) around age fourteen and was a devout Christian during my first two years of high school. After that...well, I know some people who manage to reconcile the two, but for me Christianity and bisexuality (not to mention being transgender, aro, and a gray-ace with a libido) didn't work well together.

It wasn't that I had any beef with Jesus himself (I admire him, actually, but in the same way I admire Sylvia Rivera)...well, not much anyway. No, most of the reason I'm no longer wearing my beloved cross necklaces and fervently reading the Bible was because of my fellow Christians. If any of you remember "Jerry Falwell for Paganism" (Jerry Falwell being the very outspoken Southern Baptist fundie who founded and led the hate group known as Moral Majority and thought pagans caused 9/11)...well, Jerry wasn't the only one who alienated marginalized Christians in the US, driving them to leave the religion. But you all know my story.

That's not what I'm here to talk about, anyway. I'll fight the good fight. I'll educate people when I need to and I'll vent when the memories and bad feelings start getting to me. But other than that? I just want to live my life. I want to move on.

But one of the reasons it was hard for me to do that was the book Heaven is for Real. Doubts niggled at my too-trusting mind; how could a four-year-old who couldn't even read the Bible come up with so many details from it?

Then, only a few weeks ago, I found out something that, honestly, shouldn't have surprised me on account of Jesus not being a white guy and Colton (as well as a little girl named Akiane Kramarik, who I'm pretty sure was just dreaming) saying he was. Yeah, that's right Christians. Your precious Jesus was Asian. And Jewish. And poor. And I'm pretty sure aro ace.

I found out that Colton Burpo was faking it, as bad as Karma Ashcroft faked being a lesbian (though I'm still not totally convinced she isn't bi).

And this isn't just some rumor.

Think about it. The Burpos had been going broke when Colton's accident happened. They were desperate and needed the attention and money. Todd Burpo had broken his leg and struggled with a cancer scare. Of course they're going to do something drastic. So they put the kid up to this...this farce...and it gets to the point where they actually travel to meet Akiane, who by the way modeled that painting of hers after a very white family friend. The kid is confused and just wants to make his parents happy. Things start spiraling out of control. And after it all, America is one bad movie richer.

 So much like Alex Malarkey. What a surprise, right? I can't believe I didn't know. I honestly didn't put two and two together until after an old friend, a man who had trained to become a friar, worked as a youth pastor, devoted his life to the Bible, can answer virtually any question you throw at him about Christianity, and keeps close tabs on pretty much everything that happens in the religion, told me that Todd Burpo had faked the whole thing.

And it makes sense, despite Colton's claims that he really did go to Heaven, made when he discovered Malarkey's lie. Why does he feel the need to be so defensive, when many Christians (including myself, for a long time) actually found his story quite convincing already?

But these two (well, three, including Akiane) aren't the only kids who have claimed to visit the afterlife. The difference is that Wendy Chousmatison's story is a lot less well-known, probably because according to her, Heaven is feminist. I mean, an androgynous, dark-skinned Jesus who studied Buddhism? Gay people? Non-Christians? A society without classism? This simply won't do!!!

 Wendy doesn't seem to be faking it. Granted, it's only been three-and-a-half years since Wendy's own alleged (I say alleged because I have no definite proof that she isn't lying) trip to Heaven, and she has been pretty quiet about her experiences, compared to those two little angelic charlatans Alex Malarkey and Colton Burpo.

Her image of Heaven is almost exactly how I picture the Summerland. While that doesn't mean either of us is right, it's definitely caught my attention.l

Unlike Alex and the Burpos, Wendy had no apparent motive to make anything up. She was also much older than either Alex or Colton had been on their faked trips to the Afterlife, and less likely to merely buy into everything her parents told her about religion. If Wendy were going to lie, why would she need to do it?

Now, I'm not saying that Wendy's story is objectively, doubtlessly true. But it's definitely interesting to think about.

Just Another Random Poem

Summer of 2015
This summer is a revolution
And children of the future
Will likely have to remember these
Dates,
Cramming for the newest,
The latest and greatest
Brain-draining exam.

This summer has been testing
As my black and trans sisters
Are murdered around me
And the TV only mentions
White people's names.

This is the summer
Of 2015 -
A silenced summer
As Jennicet Gutierrez
Screams for justice.

This is a summer of justice
Of vengeance for violence -
Of remembrance,
Because being black
Shouldn't be a crime.

This is a summer of sexuality,
Of bodily autonomy
Because in one small way
Rich white Christians
Are forced to respect my
Humanity,
Because I have the satisfaction
Of slightly increased control
Over my own body.

This is the summer
In which the world finally knows
That Josh Duggar didn't allow his sisters the same.

This is a summer
In which history has been repeated
In which blood has been shed.
In which people have died.

This is a summer
In which childless mothers have cried
Because #AllLivesMatter
As long as those lives are cis and white.

Let's learn from this summer of 2015
So that, as they study it in history class,
The children of the future will not repeat our mistakes.

Thoughts About Josh Duggar

TW: rape, misogyny, rape apologism, Christianity, incest

Until now, Mod Frey and I have been largely silent on the topic of Josh Duggar.

So I'll write a post about him - and, more importantly, the fact that he raped five girls.

Look, if you've even vaguely heard of 19 Kids and Counting - a show I've long despised - you probably know the gist of the story by now. Nine years ago, sweet little Joshie, then a teenager, fondled the breasts and genitalia of five young girls, four of whom were his sisters. His parents and a state trooper - a man who is currently serving time for child pornography - deliberately covered up the crime until the statute of limitations had passed. In fact, Duggar's rapes would have gone completely unreported if not for some investigating that uncovered accusations of rape (I don't know all the details on this, but I assume said investigating was done by someone who finds the Duggars as creepy and horrifying as I do; I praise their unknown name).

And the "help" these people got for Josh was a few months of carpentry work. Under a family friend who also covered up his crime.

Now that I've covered the background of the crime, let's get to the aftermath.

1. People have been calling this a "controversy"...and do I even need to explain why this is wrong? The man is a SERIAL RAPIST. He's the scum of the earth. That shouldn't be controversial. It should be horrifying.
2. People have been defending Josh Duggar. See #1.
3. Josh Duggar was once on the Marriage and Family Council. You know, one of those cults that pretends to "love homosexuals but hate homosexuality" or some other crap. Or maybe they just openly hate queer people. I don't even know anymore. These cults all look alike to me, and the Duggars really are one by themselves.
4. So...why is being queer a sin, yet rape is still defended?
5. People who defend Josh Duggar, I really need to know. Do you just have some strange obsession with making sure nobody has control over their own bodies?
6. In one of many awesome tweets responding to Josh Duggar's serial rapes - let's call them what they are - a woman said something along the lines of "I don't know why anyone's surprised by the cover-up. Putting the needs of a son over multiple daughters is the very definition of patriarchy."

Well said, strange woman. Well said.

Food Bank Etiquette and Important Notes

This is a post for those of you who've fallen on hard times and come to the realization that yes you will have to ask for an an actual hand out this time round.

First of all, going to the food bank is nothing to be ashamed of hundreds, even thousands of people visit such places Every. Single. Day. and the only thing wrong with that is the fact that our society has made it so difficult to get by without them. Secondly if you do have to go to one you can trust me when I say that no one else there is going to be judgmental of you for being there, after all they're in the same boat as you.

I'm gonna move onto the Etiquette now;

Basic etiquette rule #1 -  If you are an able bodied, neurotypical, young person than trust me when I say you can stand in line a bit longer than the elderly woman with a walker it's polite to let this person cut in front of you in line or switch numbers with her if the food bank you're at happens to have a take a number system and you get one that goes in before her.

Basic etiquette rule #2 - Again this is for able bodied, neurotypical, young people. The food bank might have shady spaces or seating outside, if there are people who need these spaces more than you than you can stand in the light for a bit, I suggest bringing a pair of sunglasses and an umbrella if the light does bother you.

Basic etiquette rule #3 - If a person ahead of you happens to stall a moment to feed their child, whether it be by bottle, or breast, or just a little snack of solid food, you stay in your own space and let them be. It Is None Of Your Business.

Basic etiquette rule #4 - Finally I just want to say that it's rude to stare, so don't do it.

And now the notes!

1: There are A LOT of people at food banks, if this is a problem for you I strongly suggest bringing your phone (if you have one) or a book (again if you have one) to help you ignore them, it's not much but it helps me when I have to go, though I'll admit some people are still fairly rude and have bothered me whilst I read, drew, or listened to music.

2: Sometimes the people in charge of the food bank are just plain mean, they may care enough to help you get what you need but plenty of them are just there for volunteer hours, do not take their attitude as a personal affront it's their problem not yours.

3: Finally I want to say that people may push or shove when you are inside the food bank so if you did not arrive early enough to be first in line than I suggest hanging around in the back to maintain elbow room.

These are the observations I've made from regularly having to visit the nearest food bank for my own family, I could give more advice if requested but these seemed to stand out the most

Mod Frey

Clarification

As a genderfluid person, I'm part woman and tend to shift between feminine genders a lot. I'm sometimes female, sometimes demigirl, sometimes androgyne, sometimes agender, sometimes demiboy, and sometimes I don't even know. I'm also regularly perceived as a woman, or at least as womanlike, so I'm treated as a woman socially and politically...which is sometimes dysphoria-inducing, actually...so I experience sexism. If/when I refer to myself as a woman or girl, these are my reasons for doing so.

As for my sexuality...I know it gets confusing. I've only ever had romantic crushes on four people, though most of those were partly platonic (and I'm not even sure if one of them was a crush), in my nearly-eighteen years, and all of my crushes have identifed at least partly as women and girls. So I call myself myself a lesbian as well as aroflux.

 And being gray-ace, I don't experience a whole lot of sexual attraction in the first place and don't really want a sexual relationship. Should the urge to have sex ever strike me, I'll go off and do it. But in the meantime, I mostly prefer to just look at hot people and not do much of anything about it. The sexual attraction I do feel is mostly towards women, and I tend to favor femininity, but that doesn't mean I don't occasionally find queer butch women and masculine men (I'm not comparing butch women to men, I'm saying that I'm attracted to them less so than femmes because I prefer femininity) attractive. I have a thing for Tyler Posey, for example. But I don't really want to do anything about that and don't think I would want to if I had the chance. I just think he's good looking. Yeah...my sexuality is complicated. That's partly why I don't label it as anything but gray-ace and queer anymore. And now maybe as sappho. :)

Things that should not be said to Asexuals.

"Why do you make (insert genital name) jokes if you don't like sex?"

I am asexual, that does not mean I have no sense of humor, sometimes these jokes are funny.

"Don't you care about your partners needs?"

Of course I do! I just think that they should care about my needs as well.

"So you're asexual, like you just don't like dating?"

Really dear? I said aSEXUAL not aROMANTIC, I am still quite happy with romance

"I bet I could fix that ;)"

I don't need fixing

"You just haven't met The One"

Life's not a rom-com, there is no 'One'

"You're being selfish!"

No I'm not, you are