The Stars are Fading

The serialized story blog is up! I have five characters shown in a character chart - Lena, Jesus (pronounced hay-soos, like on The Fosters), Cam, Gillian, and Adrian, in that order. I'll start up the actual story the minute I have time, but I'm in North Carolina at the moment for a family function, and I'm going back to Michigan on Labor Day (and after that, I'm starting my junior year). I haven't seen any relatives yet - most of them are staying at other hotels, so I'm going to just walk around for the moment. It's really pretty down here (hot, yet pretty...that sounded vaguely dirty...) so I don't want to miss anything. I'll try to keep you guys updated, but no promises.

Link to The Stars are Fading

Serialized Story

I was reading this book, Goth Girl Rising, where the main character's love interest was a comic book writer who serialized his work. I thought it was really interesting, and even though I don't draw, I've decided to do the same. So, even though I'm still keeping up We are the Rainbow, I'm starting a new blog for a serialized thing that I'm working on. I haven't decided what it's called, though.

It seems like a really fun idea, and hopefully it'll get a publisher to take notice of me. Wish me luck.

Is She Gay or Not?

Two posts ago, a reader asked (indirectly) if I was gay. And doubtlessly, many other readers - besides the few already know what my sexuality is - have wondered but haven't asked. So I figured I should address the issue.

First of all, my sexual orientation does not affect my advocacy. I would support equality no matter what. Second, if I were gay, it would not affect my faith in God. Third, if I were gay, coming out so widely and rashly would likely have uncontrollable fallout in other aspects of my life. Fourth, my sexuality is none of your business unless I choose to share it.

That's why I'm stating right now that until further notice, I'm choosing not to leave my sexuality ambiguous. Who I'm attracted to is my business and shouldn't affect how I'm treated.

Just wanted to let you know, everyone. Have a nice rest-of-the-summer!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

I was looking at my blog statistics just now to check how many views I've gotten today. The number? One hundred fourteen views. That's the highest number of views I've gotten in one day since I started We are the Rainbow. And my views of all time? Eight hundred sixty-six in two months, with readers from ten different countries. It's all kind of amazing; when I started, I never dreamed I'd be so successful.

For years, it's been my dream to change the world through writing. But I can't do that without you wonderful people, my amazing readers, and of course God - my eternal best friend and the motivation behind much of my writing. So thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone who's read this blog and spread the word to others. And thank you, God, for giving me the inspiration to write this.

Well, that's all I wanted to say. Thanks again, everyone!

Frustrated with Prejudiced Former Friends

So. I'm not going to name names here, and that is why we're going to call the two girls mentioned in this post 'Daisy' and 'Rissa.'

Until recently, Rissa had been my best friend. We'd known each other since before we were even born. When I was two and she was three, her family came to visit mine (then living out of state). And I, being the most awkward toddler ever, would barely talk to her. But she pried me out of my shell, and for the next fourteen years she was like the sister I never had.

Rissa has a younger sister named Daisy, about four years younger than her. Daisy, for much of my friendship with Rissa, was just my friend's annoying kid sister whom I had to put up with. But as she got older, Daisy became our friend too, and as close to me as her sister was.

The problem? They were homophobic and transphobic, and for obvious reasons I'm not cool with that. And their prejudice really hurt me, though every time I consider telling them the exact reasons why, I freeze up and panic.

Taking the advice of another girl who'd been similarly burned, I decided to simply cut off my friendship with them. And I tried. I don't hate Rissa and Daisy; I love them as sisters in Christ, but I really don't like them and the way they're acting right now. But I didn't remove them from my Facebook friends list, because that seemed rather petty. So when I posted a message on my page protesting the transphobia of reality star Michelle Duggars, they saw it and responded negatively.

I won't go into the whole argument, but eventually Daisy messaged me with all the Bible verses that fundamentalist Christians interpret as condemning homosexuality and transgenderism (they don't condemn either, actually; they condemn shrine prostitution, rape, hostility to strangers, and lack of hospitality but I'll go into that later with the help of some friends and family who have studied the Bible much more extensively than I and can explain much more efficiently.) and I told her to shut up unless she had something positive to say, and that her sister could do the same. At which point she replied with a series of 'I love yous.' But those are just words, and honestly I'm not convinced she means them.

 I told her honestly that I love her too, but explained also explained my other feelings on our whole awkward, hurtful situation. Thus far, she hasn't responded.

The whole thing is just so frustrating. I want our old friendship back and I'm sick of this drama, but I'm not going to put up with their prejudice (especially when it's directed at several of my other friends, who have supported and loved me through this mess and have helped me pull myself back together again) and I'm not going to back down from my advocacy for the LGBTQIAA+ community. I also know that right now, being friends with either one will only get me hurt. As I wrote in Sunshine, it's my choice whether to let these destructive people into my life or not, and right now I choose not to.

But...fourteen years is a long time. I literally can't remember a time when Rissa and Daisy weren't a part of my life in some way. They really are like my sisters, and it hurts to cut off two people so close to me. Any thoughts?

Another Random Poem

A guy we'll call Rick once asked about his troubles letting go of his anger and heartbreak toward his sociopathic ex-boyfriend. I gave him some advice about what I do when I get my heart broken: live. Do the things that make you happy! But I think Rick is really depressed about this guy (which makes me want to track the jerk down and cut his balls off), so I thought about what else I do: pray.

God has always given me strength when I felt weak, hope when I thought all hope was lost, love when I needed it most. He has given me strength to conquer the most difficult challenges I've ever encountered and sometimes even been the only reason I've had to strive. He is the best thing in my life.

I was going to say that, but there's one problem: Rick is an atheist. So instead, I reached deep inside and thought about how else I could communicate the power of love that is the Holy Spirit in each of us, the power that can perform miracles and give eternal hope. I could have said that the hurt of this earthly life will feel like nothing when we are faced with eternity, an eternity of love and light, the most perfect and all-consuming to ever exist. Because then? Then, all our time on Earth will just feel like a flash, and the bad times will seem like nothing. Eternity can really give you perspective. I could have said that even though human beings can be vicious and cruel, at least we know that there is one Person who loves us enough to bring about our very existence, die for us, and forgive us when we don't deserve it.

What did I actually say? I'll portray it in this poem (not the exact words I used).


 Sunshine
I've been hurt, broken, crushed. I've loved and lost and had my heart shattered by those who didn't deserve my love in the first place. My world has been stormy, and I've lost my sunshine.

No, I haven't. I've been damaged, but not beyond repair. I've been hurt, but not killed. My world has been stormy, but I've never lost my sunshine.

It is our choice and our choice alone to allow destructive people into our lives. My life is too valuable to waste on those who don't deserve it, and so I surround myself with love and become renewed with strength in that my sunshine may spread.

There is always tomorrow and things are never as bleak as they seem. And in reminding myself of this, I became renewed with strength. Although the world may be stormy, there is a little sunshine in every situation.

In the sunshine, I forgave. I let it go, because anger and bitterness would only darken my soul. What's the point of holding a grudge when we can set it all - including ourselves - free?

I've been hurt, but I clothed my spirit in sunshine...and learned to dance in the rain.





Hope you liked it.

The Legion of Sprelves and Mervamps!

Last night when I couldn't sleep, I was chatting online with this girl named Estella. In this one part of the site, a bunch of guys had this thread going where they were all pretending to be really gangsta and deliberately misspelling every word they typed. At which point Estella joined the thread and replied in the most epic way possible: And then comes in some random chick with a dictionary who beats the he** out of everybody with it. Which made me laugh, and somehow led to us discussing whether we'd want to be aliens or magical creatures, and what kind of magical creatures we would be. I said sprelf, half-sprite and half-elf. She said mervamp, half-mermaid and half-vampire.

So it was quite late and this point and I think we'd both reached that giddy, hyper stage of utter exhaustion in which one is extremely tired yet also extremely euphoric, because we soon started joking about taking over the world with a legion of sprelves and mervamps, and I decided to make a blog post about it.

So! Here is...

             The Manifesto of the LSM

• Letting one's freak flag fly is encouraged. In fact, it is required. Freak power!
• Getting sugar highs and randomly laughing at nothing, as if possessed or on helium, shall be a common occurrence.
• Fangirling (or Fanboying) is healthy and shall be held in high esteem.
• Yes, we are indeed aliens. And that is a good thing.
• Geeks are powerful badasses who shall be given medals of honor.

THE LEGION SHALL RISE IN ALL ITS FREAKY GLORY! JOIN US, MINIONS, AND REVEL IN OUR EPIC FREAKINESS!

Hope this made you smile.